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Feb 27, 2004 | Ambrose Pierce’s The Devil’s Dictionary

freedom n. Exemption from the stress of authority in a beggarly half dozen of restraint’s infinite multitude of methods. A political condition that every nation supposes itself to enjoy in virtual monopoly. Liberty. The distinction between freedom and liberty is not accurately known; naturalists have never been able to find a living specimen of either.

bore n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

cynic n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be. Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucking out a cynic’s eyes to improve his vision.

laughter n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.

From Ambrose Pierce’s The Devil’s Dictionary now found at www.devilsdictionary.tk

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