Jan 15, 2006 | Turbulence!

My head banging against the armrest as I lay sideways across two seats on my British Airways flight from Heathrow, I contemplated the possibilities of the plane falling apart in the turbulence that had my stomach churning like a cement mixer and my whole body feeling like a piece of jello on a rollercoaster. My previous Paris to Heathrow British Airways flight was also equally choppy, and my mind suggested that perhaps BA pilots weren't paid as well as, say, their Virgin Atlantic counterparts- though I must say the delays incurred with VA is undoubtedly a greater nightmare. Get me from Point A to Point B safely with the least delay at the lowest price and I will be your best passenger.

Munching on the sandwich the stewardesses gave me, I look at the clock: it's way too early for a Sunday morning, but I haven't been in the mood for sleeping. With several drunken hallmates thundering about in the hall shouting expletives that would make Jerry Springer intervene, it wasn't exactly terribly easy to get to sleep either. Ah, but I shan't complain, and I'm trying to get myself off that habit.

The wind howls menacingly through the tiny gaps of the dorm window as I pick up the Apple and Blackberry Pie ("Fruity & Delicious, with Vanilla Custard") from my bag, also saved from unsavoury peril at the hands of BA stewardesses.

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