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Vinny said on December 4th, 2009 at 9:20 am :

I think it’s great that you are doing some self-reflecting to see what your life is really all about. I feel as if all too often people find themselves in situations where they never feel fulfilled. I have learned that patience, compassion, gratitude and awareness is the key to finding what is “important”. Good Luck!

Dec 3, 2009 | A little bit more focus

This is one of those posts that sound more like a rant, but I hope the future me will someday look back on it as a snapshot of who I am today, (like this post).

As I continue to evaluate what it is I find most important to my life and what I want to pursue in a big picture way, I’ve realized that I keep on going back to three things, and maybe somewhere in the future I will have the opportunity to combine them:

firefighting: I cannot begin to describe what I have learned and gained from being a volunteer firefighter and EMT while at Swarthmore, and every time I feel like it’s almost wrong of me to think that I’ve gained more from the experience that I can ever think to give back. I felt, perhaps for the first time in my life, that there was somewhere I could fit in without trying so hard, and I felt that with each person I met as an EMT, or each incident I confronted, I would be given a brand new opportunity to do better, to be professional, and to work well with my fellow firefighters and emergency responders. Some day I hope to go back to it and continue it.

human computer interaction: specifically, the way in which we make snap judgments about the things we see, hear, and feel. I am a big fan of Malcolm Gladwell’s “Blink“, in which he describes precisely how we come to make those instantaneous decisions about what feels right and wrong, without the need for explanation. I guess my Facebook game was a foray into that field, motivated by (awkward) restaurant dinner discussions with my family about the “table next to us” and what country/ethnicity they were (hearing foreign tongues happens more often than one may suppose, though I may be able to attribute it to the fact that we lived and traveled a lot around Europe).

teaching: I’m not sure why, but I’ve always enjoyed it, and I will not deny that it also feels good to be in a position of authority (which may explain the firefighting too). I remember teaching French in Brazil, web design at Swarthmore, and I’m hoping to apply to become a teacher at the American International College in Framingham. We’ll see how that goes, but it’s just so much fun to teach.

I guess I just want some purpose in my life, and I’ve always loved to help other people, though I know sometimes I feel a little *too* obligated to help, and I remember a classmate in elementary school, during a computer class, saying “let me make my own mistakes!” Undoubtedly I will make my own, but I guess I’m just looking for solid ground somewhere, it seems.

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 3rd, 2009 at 10:17 pm, EST under the category of Future Me, Life, Oh Life. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.