The following is the third (and last) part of a three-part transcript of my journal that I kept during my trip to La Marmorata Village in Santa Teresa di Gallura, Sardinia, during July-August 2004.

Aug 14th

Emotions run high. (After all, apparently she leaves next Friday). Emotions that can hardly ever be expressed. Which annoys me. Strange eh, when you think what you might have the most control over turns out to be the thing you control the least. Yesterday's farewells weren't be any means as sentimental and tear-filled as last week. It's the aura of 'I'm too cool/elevated to cry' that most likely prevents such a thing to occur. So be it. I'd rather prefer friends like those of last week.

Aug 17th

Argh.

Aug 19th

What a horrible week. The Club Ado hardly exists any more. There are certain 'factions' that divide it, and there's hardly anyone to talk to. For example, there's the 'so-called skaters and gothics' group who always wear black and try to act cool by smoking and drinking; there's the Italians, with whom we don't converse much; there's the couples: and there's all the rest. All the unwanteds, rather. For me, it's more of a language problem because my French isn't exactly the same as the way teenagers speak, and I don't have a wide range of vocabulary. I certainly don't fit in with the Italians, except for a 'Ciao' and a 'Come stai?' here and there. It's a pity, because I've got quite a lot of things to say but not the words to express it. So this week's been a disaster. Utterly. Completely. The hiking trip on Tuesday wasn't interesting. And I'm getting ravaged by mosquitos and flies. Argh.

Alone on a swaying dock
I think
Muse
Heart to heart with the sea and the stars
Soul to soul with no one
The light fades away
Beyond and faraway
Someone else
sits
Alone, on a swaying dock
Looking out into the horizon
At the same sky I am
Heart to heart with no one
Soul to soul with each other
We know the loss
The Hurt
Waves nudge the wooden planks
The moon looks over
In silence
Alone

(add: I thought of this one evening when I spent a few moments on a dock protruding from the right side of the beach. The poem that is produced in the first part of the transcript is a revised version of this poem)

Aug 20th

I hate Fridays. Especially since at the moment it's the 'Time to Say Goodbye'. Especially since someone I liked had to leave. (add: Her name was Marie-Charlotte, and while there's absolutely no possibility that I ever meet her on the face of this Earth for as long as I live, I have to say she was really hot. So hot you could fry an egg a mile from her face. So hot she'd make the sun look like a freezer. It's amazing she didn't actually boil the whole ocean while she was here. A doll, really, without all the poshness and the arrogance that normally comes with it. Whoever marries her will be the luckiest man on Earth. But I'm not one to say much, because I didn't get much of an opportunity to talk to her and find out what she truly was like. But she was really kind, nonetheless.) Especially since the only person I could talk to properly in English has to leave (I love ya Line!). At least I hope someone worthwhile comes to the club. Most of those this week weren't worth my breath to talk to.

Aug 21st

It's definite that I like sportive people (especially girls). lol. No further comment =) (add: include goofy smile in picture). (Scared that he'll be thrown around like a rag doll if she ever gets angry) (add: I later found out she threw a punch at a guy's arm when he mistakenly got her fingers stuck on the deck chairs. ow.)

Aug 22nd

I hate being unable to communicate well. It's a bit coincidental that I should be writing at the moment an essay about how the lack of communication between the characters within a story destroys and isolates each personality. Especially in relation to the other characters. How fitting, really. Applies to each and every moment of my time here. lol. Somehow it seems I manage, but often it feels like trying to keep your head above water when everyone around you is trying to pull you down (add: ever think of the swimming pool?) There's something like teen-talk that I just can't get a hang on. Like pig-latin, French style. Seriously, everyone's turning words inside out I can hardly keep up. Anyways, the only reason I'll miss this week is because of Ms. Sporty. No feelings yet. Just good friends (I think). Canoeing together tmrw [sic] morn! Woot!

Aug 23rd

It took me a while to get used to it, but it seems I finally have. In Brazil and in France (as well as some other European countries) there's a custom of kissing cheeks as a sign of hello. (Interestingly, while in Brazil and in Paris it's one kiss on each cheek, those in southern France or the East do the process twice, so it's left-right-left-right). I hadn't really gotten used to it in Brazil, which did make things a bit awkward, but now I seem to have gotten the hang of it. I guess that's one good thing about this vacation, not to mention the great people I've met. It's a good thing that MSN should exist. Now only Google has to come up with Google Messenger eh? At least I can keep in touch with the people I've met.

Aug 24th.

Happy b-day dad! Anyways, today was really (squared) good. She's (Ms. Sporty) is a wonderful person, unlike any I've met this past month. It's certainly good fortune that I be here at the last week. She had 'gone out' with another guy last week (who left on the past Friday) and so I'm not going to say/suggest anything out of bounds, that's for sure. Not that I'm going to do anything really. She's good at many sports and she's almost too nice. We had lunch together, just the two of us. Tee hee (add: add foolish grin here too). Apparently she plays Magic the Gathering too. We both share the sentiment that being in the Club Ado isn't the greatest thing (especially since many of its participants drink, smoke, and make a fool of themselves.) She is apparently of the mind that doing things in two's is the best way to have fun. Fine, even great by me! So we did windsurfing (although she, having done it less times that I have, was somehow better) and canoeing, as well as a bit of archery after lunch. I can't imagine anyone better to pass my previously mentioned dream plans with (add: will post this entry soon), not that I will or anything. Most people tire out too easily or end up wanting to socialise for purposes of getting a date. I enjoy the simpler things in life. Love's too complicated, and besides, for me, it's not something you'd have to search real hard to find.

Aug 25th

Things have gone a bit awry today, and it's going to take a while to gather my thoughts (add: I distinctly remember diligently cleaning my Swiss army knife for about an hour while I thought). It's just the type of conflict I hate, and it has to do with her, Séverine, although I hardly think she's even aware that I'm in such a state of angst. I guess I've gotten a bit too possessive of her in the sense that I enjoy my time most when I'm with her. When there's another kid/boy that comes into the picture, things go a bit wrong. In truth, I don't like to talk bad about people behind their backs, but this kid just gets on my nerves, in the sense that he's a player and he tries to act cool in front of everyone. It really destroys the amicable relationship between I and her, especially since the kid has gotten uncomfortably friendly with her. Then again I have no idea what she thinks of him.

I have this eerie feeling that these past few days have been not terribly unlike MTV's 'Dismissed'. Not that I watch it often, but I know the rules of the game, and were it not for the Time Out card, MTV could actually film an episode here. Nothing suggestive in our conversation, I assure you, but the mannerisms make it awfully similar. The problem is, it seems the kid has four Time Out cards and I only have two. (Besides the fact that I have to return back to my room to study, leaving them together). Grr. Perhaps I'm less cool or less stylish than him, but I can vouch that I have a better personality... Why can't he chase after the girl he originally liked, a girl called Jenifer? And I had thought things would be greater today....

That's the entirety of my journal. I hope you read it all, because otherwise it wouldn't be interesting reading snippets of events here and there. I dunno. Interestingly, I had completely omitted to mention two important things that occurred. I have already forgotten the date, but my family and I rented a car on a Saturday to visit Sassari, a large town about 2 hours from the village. It was quite cool to get a look around, especially at the market and the 13th century wall that once guarded the perimeters of the town. On the way back we passed Castelsardo, a small enclave with a hill upon which homes are clustered (not unlike a favela). A castle marked the top, although we failed to visit it and instead pounced upon the tourist souvenir shops. Typical, eh. lol. We also got reprimanded by a policeman because apparently we weren't allowed to drive up the hill except if we were residents. Being just a buncha Japanese tourists makes good excuse.

I also became mildly famous at the club for my killer flats. Flats, or 'plats' in French refers to jumping into the pool as flat as possible so as to land on the surface of the water with a distinct plaf. Most people wouldn't even dare to do it for money, because it hurts like heck (or so they say). Indeed it's a passion that shouldn't be repeated by others, because water can act as tough as glass, and most people would agree that falling flat upon glass isn't exactly the safest thing. I only did it because my jump was at most from an altitude of a meter, and because it was something most people didn't do. So much for the sake of making a name eh.

Written on Wednesday, September 1 at 8:15 PM